What's Motivating You?

This post has been started and deleted more times that I can count. Every post so far has been relatively easy to write until now. Maybe because the others have been fact oriented or just a little glimpse into what I'm doing, I don't know. I do know that admitting things aren't always 100% gravy are hard for me to do. Let's see if I can get this thing going finally.

I started pretend running (that's what I call that time frame because looking back it's hysterical) a year ago. I was "training" (loose term there) for a 5k I planned to do with my sister in law. We had to run x number of days a week or fork over $5. It worked because I didn't want to part with money. I ran a mile at time. Mainly out of breath and demanding water when I came in. I lost 0 pounds and ended up paying for and not running the 5k :) I was scared I couldn't do it so I didn't even try. CHICKEN. I'm so embarrassed to say that AND if you know me, I'm pissed I don't have that T-shirt. After being separated from my husband for 3 months, getting an AWESOME job, and being reunited with the hubs, I still didn't feel like myself. It was like I didn't even know who I was anymore. I was lazy, always needed a nap, "I'm tired" was my auto response to nearly every question asked. When I was teaching allllllll of these things were true with an addition of "I'm pissed, frustrated, tired of my job, tired of children (except my cheer babies; they rocked) and miserable". Once I realized I'd hit the job jackpot at NCSU, I realized none of these things should be in my vocabulary. I knew I had to do something and thus began running.

I remember running my first 5k ( thought it would be a bucket list type thing, one and done). I had my runner's high for 1.5 miles and realized then I was going WAAAAAAAAAAAY too fast and needed to slow it down if I wanted to cross the finish line. I also remember thinking "this is so dumb I paid $25 to run and it SUCKS. I hate this. Why did I sign up for this torture". Then the magic of the finish line happened. My husband surprised me and busted his butt to get there after getting off shift that morning and was able to make it just in time to see me cross the finish line. He looked like a Cheshire cat grinning ear to ear. He was so proud of me which, made me proud of me. I don't think I realized that until today. That first race I was more satisfied with him being proud than recognizing my own accomplishment.

That race motivated me to do others because I liked that feeling (I'm a people pleaser). Once I really began logging more miles and races I realized I was pretty proud of me. I love looking at Nike+ and seeing how many miles I've logged.  The continual running and eating healthy made the weight begin to finally shed which was awesome. and another reason to keep it up. I really don't want to go back to the weight OR the person I was 10 pounds ago.  A motivation for running a half marathon was to get the last bit of weight off. Writing it down seems so dumb. I can't help feeling like I will be more pleased hitting my "goal" number. I know that I will be content momentarily and that will then turn to wanting to change something else but is that a bad thing? That's what is keeping me going the days I DONT WANNA GO.

My hubs is a huge motivation to me to stay exercising. He hates to run and on the days  I can con him into going with me I love it. I'm faster keeping up with his gazelle stride (or trying). My non-existent children are also a motivation. I want to be an active mom who can play and have fun with their kids and keep up. I also don't want to gain 90 pounds (ain't hating if you did, that's just not going to work for me) when I am pregnant. I can thank my friend Renee (hey girl) for that. I didn't know her through her first pregnancy but I did for the second and she rocked it. I've never seen someone so energetic and up for anything during pregnancy or post-pregnancy. But most of all I want to do it for ME. I want to be the best me I can be, all the time, healthy and happy. For the moment running is doing that for me. How's all that for motivation?! So today I will ask: What is motivating you?

Blair